Circle of Life

I have recently spent some time pondering my mortality.  While thoughts of how life ends are not uncommon, they just seem to be creeping in at a more frequent occurence than they once did.  I am certain part of it is the fact that I am now closer to sixty than I once was to fifty. By the way, that crock of manure (keeping it civil) about sixty's the new fifty, etc., etc.; not really what it is cracked up to be.  I guess a bunch of that has to do with how one views and acts on it - age I mean.  I never was one for following all the man made trends for subverting, or making more convenient that which in reality simply is.  There has to be an order that has been set from the beginning of time.  Don't believe in it? Well just look around, or look up at the stars once and awhile - couldn't have happened by chance, or even by a "big bang."  What caused the big bang; what was the "first cause?" And truly thinking about it, time itself is one of those crocks that humanity has construed for itself.

Another nudge to my contemplation comes from that other reality we love to joke so much about; you know all those death and taxes comments.  The ones that are now catching up with some dear friends, and relatives, and childhood heroes.  A little over a month ago my sister fought a hard battle against cancer; she lost - we lost.  Almost a year ago a good friend and colleague went through the same war.  It also seems, more often than not, my wife or I will remark; "Do you know who died?"  A few that really stick out recently are John Wooden - I wasn't a UCLA Bruin fan but as a young coach I read Coach Wooden's book - I was influenced.  He was 99.  I want to make it to 99, or even 100, but I want to have my mental, emotional, and spiritual capacities.  I want to know who I am looking at, and who I am talking to.  Dennis Hopper, actor and artist, was 74 - for crying out loud; man Easy Rider was my generation's Rebel Without A Cause. 

And while I was thinking about this I googled the deaths so far in 2010 - the ones somebody considered newsworthy. There were at least 5 for every day of every month; actors, actresses, athletes, statesmen, dignitaries of all shapes and sizes. Manute Bol, former NBA athlete, who I actually saw play was only 47. Jimmy Dean slipped into my research; he was 81. I watched him on The Grand Ole Opry TV show when I was a kid spending weekends at my grandparent's house. Grizzly Smith, American Pro Wrestler was 77. I watched him wrestle when I thought pro wrestling was legit.  Teenagers really are very impressionable. The list said Alzheimer's was his nemesis. I really dread Alzheimer's.

Then I got to a little more thinking.  I've been to 38 high school graduations since my own back in 1970, most of them as a teacher.  I've been to quite a few funerals in that same time span as well; a few senseless like the ones for students and former students who have commited suicide, or died in a tragic accident.  I'm not trying to be morbid here; and I am not obsessed with death or anything like that. And please don't try to read anything sinister into this writing. I think that's one of the critical errors we have been prone to as a culture. We read things into what people say, we jump to conclusions; and nine times out of ten all those pre-suppositions are the furthest thing from the truth. I have just been pondering my mortality - our mortality; or actually my (our) immortality - that's all. Pondering things is good for you.  Wasn't it Plato who said, "I think, therefore I am?"

Shouldn't the real question be, is there a life after our temporal one ends? Or, are we born, then exist, then die? I sure as hell hope the latter is not the case. My upbringing, my faith, says there is something else. Maybe that's the real fun of all this "circle of life" stuff. The wondering, the pondering, the hoping, the questioning, the seeking, the believing - these are the parts of LIFE & DEATH that make this chaos so much fun.

It's just like this past weekend. I got a call from my daughter. "Dad, can you come help Dusty (that's her husband) move a couple of things?" They are getting ready to sell their condo. When I arrived, a couple - that's two right - turned to three, four, five, etc.; you get the picture. When I arrived back home I get this text message: Thanks again for today! You were a huge help. I love you. So I text back: You just do things for your kids. Tell Dusty he will pay me when it's his turn to do the same for Mak (Makenzie, his daughter, my granddaughter) I'll know when it happens...I love you too.

I probably won't see it, but it could happen. I can do the math. Keets, my daughter, is 29. So, when Mak asks her dad to do whatever at the same age, I might be 87. None of us knows what the next twenty or so is going to bring. I heard something this morning from Norman Lear, you know the guy who created the TV show All In The Family.  (You haven't seen All In The Family?  It's a classic.  Archie Bunker - you thought Limbaugh was conservative.  And the meathead, c'mon.)

Any way - Norman Lear is almost 88 so I guess I could make it - I see Lear on CBS's SUNDAY MORNING, and he makes the following statement to end the interview, "I really am about now and next."

So for the moment at least, I'll stop worrying about my mortality and spend more time on NOW & NEXT.  Why don't we all try to do the same. 

MGPJ&LBEAYSWTJL!